Life (Universe, God, Physics, whatever you prefer to call it)
has a funny way of nudging you to the right thing.
Be it timing, place, project, people.
In September 2016, I got the idea to take up a language course in Romanian. In Romania.
Letting it mull for about a second, I turned to google.
I typed in “2 week romanian language course”
And to my amazement there was one: At Rolang School, Bucharest.
With trembling fingers and a palpitating heart I sent in my application for march 2017.
Not knowing what would be on the other side.
Keep in mind, I had barely spent 3 days in Bucharest (and not in a row)
I had no idea what kind of school this would be, where I would be staying or how I would fill my time.
But I knew, somewhere deep down, that I was called to this.
Just as I was in 2013, to pack my bags and live in Budapest.
Isn’t funny that being “called” rarely feels that big, or grand or divine?
It’s not like an angel steps down in front of you, wrapped in golden light, booming in a big voice (and all caps)
“THIS IS THE PATH TO YOUR DESTINY!”
It’s more subtle than that.
A “hmmmm, wouldn’t it be cool if…” kind of thought that creeps in from behind, like it’s peeking at you from around the corner of a big plush arm chair, by the fireplace in an old rustic library.
In 2013, amid a personal career crisis, breakdown and mental fog, out of the blue the thought “Hungarian classes could be my back up” showed up.
Then quickly, I realized it was what I really wanted.
And even though it was a shock to move to Budapest, it was the best decision I’ve ever made.
Choosing to come to Romania had a similar feel to it.
A subtle little flutter in my heart, a grain-size feeling that this is right and true
Then, the Universe helped me out to refine.
Because of an email from my job, I changed the dates from March to February. At the time, I had no idea what it would mean.
I can’t call it anything other than divine timing.
As mentioned in a previous post, I got an email to come down to Bucharest to perform at national TV. This performance meant I was able to come back to TVR while staying in Bucharest.
This time to participate in a live show revealing the semi-finalists. Which, even though I wasn’t selected, was such a cool experience.
That email from TVR also meant I had to fly down two weeks prior to my studies.
I decided to test out the hotel I’d booked for my 2-weeks stay. Which then lead to a fantastic free upgrade to a studio apartment when I came back.
It also just happened that during my two weeks in Bucharest, The Voice Romania (Vocea Romaniei) had their auditions in the city.
So I applied and went.
Something that pushed me in new ways to grow and to perform under pressure.
I even taught myself the lyrics to a Romanian song in 48 hours. Because I had to.
While having one week of Romanian studies under my belt.
That my friend, is taking yourself to the limit of what you think you can do
And what I never could have imagined,
what I didn’t expect
and honestly what I’m most grateful for is this:
That during my two weeks I met new friends.
People so loving, generous, warm and open and amazing.
I could easily fill a 500 page novel with every single moment I had in the city with these incredible individuals.
Like Hannah who quickly became a new best friend.
Like Josh, Dan & Helen - all four (including Hannah) made each day in class a joy. I was, and am, so inspired by you all.
Like our teachers Elena & Anca who taught us more Romanian than I ever believed possible.
Like Rodica (& Petre & Iount) who I had the craziest night in years with and I feel I can talk about anything with.
Like Ileana who’s a shining sun of positivity
And Adela & Florin - I still laugh when I think about our night. Plus they taught me how to describe a horse and encouraged me to sing.
And Raluca, who brought me and my friends to a fantastic club
And Alin, who’ve not only put up with my sense of humor on a semi-daily basis and endless questions about language and politics, but also showed me every nook, every corner, every fascinating, historical, incredible part of the city.
Plus, I could add Ana & Petre from TVR, talented Bernice plus learning so much about Romanias nature & future from Ana & Alexandra at WWF.
I still can’t believe the amount of experiences and memories I got to be a part of in just two weeks.
Frankly, while on the plane to Bucharest, I expected something different.
I imagined that my class would probably consist of me and three expat businessmen in suits who wanted to learn some basic Romanian.
I’m so happy I was wrong.
I imagined that I would probably spend most evenings alone in my hotel room. Or roam the streets & cafés with my laptop.
I’m so happy I was wrong.
Gushing aside, let’s circle back to listening to the nudge
That little teeny tiny feeling in your chest that says “this is what I want”.
The “wouldn’t it be cool if….”
This experience has reinforced my belief that this is the feeling to pay attention to.
And to not let doubt creep in.
Yes, a feeling like that will give rise to questions like:
- Can I afford it?
- How will I make the money to do this?
- What will my family think?
- What will my friends think?
- What if it means I have to quit my job?
- What if it means I have to say no to my friends?
- What if it’s scary and I hate it?
- What if I can’t do it?
- What if I fail?
All of these doubts, as questions, are of course valid.
Certainly the money aspect
But don’t let it derail you
I had no idea what the singing and performing on TVR would mean
And yes, there was costs involved, just as there was in taking classes and living in Bucharest.
And just so you know - it’s not like I’m a millionaire (yet) where these costs doesn’t matter
They do. But I trust that I’ll take care of it.
And every time, in all transparency, that I’ve followed a nudge there’s been the question of paying for it, funding it.
Sometimes it’s been a big number.
But I’ve always made it back.
And it’s always been worth it.
And I haven’t missed that cash. Not for a second.
Right now, as I’m typing this, I still don’t know what my performance in Romania will mean - in the long run. Or my audition.
I just know - as a tiny subtle feeling in my chest - that there was a reason I was there and it is taking me on a big journey.
There’s something amazing up ahead.
Now I have a very strong nudge to go back to Bucharest, to live. And quite soon (within the year).
I don’t know exactly when.
I don’t know how I will fund it. Yet.
I don’t know what that will mean. For anything really (relationship, career, money, experience, music, growth)
But I feel the feeling. That little… “Wouldn’t it be cool if…..”
Follow the nudge. It knows where we’re going.
If you want to hear the song I competed with, After You, you have the live performance on the first page (that's here)
If you want to listen on your laptop, phone or other portable device, you can purchase the mp3 by clicking on the image below. This doesn't just mean you're paying for a product, but you're supporting the work - and what's to come.